God Has to be Your Husband First (Testimony Time)

Before I can share this testimony with you, I have to give you a little background so you can better appreciate this story. It may not seem like much to some of you, but for me, this was a huge thing.

If you've followed my story, you know that I've been married... twice. I got married the first time when I was around 24 years old and fresh out of the world. I'd just joined church when I met my ex two years prior to us getting married (when I was 22), and it goes without saying that having been in sin for 22 years, I wasn't exactly ready to be married or mature enough to pick a life's mate. We ended up living together for two years before we got officially married. That marriage lasted seven years before it ended in divorce. Something he said to me right before we broke up changed my mind entirely. We had just started buying a house and we had been struggling to pay for it using both of our incomes. He was the bread-winner; he made two times more than I did so I depended on him. While we were arguing, he said to me, "You're going to lose your house, your car... everything! Because I'm not paying for anything! You better figure out what you're gonna do." I was devastated. On top of knowing that we were pretty much breaking up at that moment, I had the extra weight of knowing that I was gonna lose my house. I couldn't afford it on my own ... especially with the  mindset that I had. I was in what I thought to be my dream house (settlement), meaning that I didn't think I'd ever be able to afford the house of my dreams because it is massive. Nevertheless, the 3500 square foot home that we were buying was huge; it was big enough. I'd settled for it thinking that I'd just have to do without my dream backyard, swimming pool, and in-house gym ... and I was okay with that. After all, I had a beautiful home and I was truly thankful for it.

Stop Trying to Blend In (Defeating People Bondage and Culture)

 I remember being that little girl... full of hope and dreams. Like most children, I wasn't afraid to dream big. Even though I'd endured a lot as a child, the enemy hadn't been successful at killing my dreams. As a matter of fact, the worse my reality was, the more I dreamed ... and the more I dreamed, the worse my reality became. It seemed like an endless cycle ... a tug-of-war of sorts, but I think it's safe to say that God used those dreams of mine to keep me from losing my mind. I've said it before and I'll say it again... it is only by the grace of God that I still have my right mind. God was surely with me.