Thursday, December 18, 2014

The Plight of the "Average" Woman

He's smart, handsome, cute and successful. He's everything you think you want in a man. And best of all, he's interested in you....Yes you! So, you bat your eyes and put on your widest grin. It appears your wait is over. It appears you've been found, and the man who's found you is perfect for you. This guy is so good, you're determined to lock him in. Like any good investor, you decide to put an offer on the table for him. You're offering him the best of you, and all he has to do is give you his last name. Nevertheless, before he accepts the offer, he wants to take you for a test run to see if you're worth your asking price, and because you don't want to let that one get away, you decide to passive-aggressively accept his offer. No, you won't open your mouth and say you're willing to let him have sex with you in hopes that he'll take you to somebody's altar and marry you. Instead, you decide to pretend that the random and somewhat spontaneous sex was an unplanned event that you're not too happy about. Once he comforts you, however, you begin to relax a little and you stop pretending that you got “caught up in the moment” and you just start letting “it” happen. You are officially in a sexual relationship and you make no apologies for it.

Your plan seems to have worked and your investment seems to have paid off. Unlike his predecessors, your guy gets on one knee and proposes to you. With one hand over your mouth and tears streaming down your eyes, you proudly accept his offer as spectators cheer the two of you on. You've done it. You've sinned your way into a blessing...or so it seems. Everything seems to be perfect at this point and anyone who says otherwise has to be a hater. What other reason do they have for not being happy for you? After all, everyone sins; nobody's perfect. Plus, you're sure your marriage is going to work because your new fiance appears to be a great pick. He's employed, diligent and he loves his mother.

Fast forward to five years later. You're washing dishes and using your arm to wipe away the tears from your eyes. The sound of the television set makes it harder for you to hear your own thoughts; plus, your once Prince Charming has now morphed into a male version of Maleficent. He's seated in the living room wearing his favorite tennis shoes and new coat, and it's clear that he's about to make a clear break for the front style. The sounds of your children crying are almost as loud as the television set, and the home you'd once prided yourself in getting now feels like Rikers Island during a riot. Then it happens and right on schedule: Your husband finds some excuse to leave yet again. He's heading to GOD knows where while you stay at home to tend to the children. It isn't long before you find out he's having yet another affair, and if that's not bad enough, he's treating you like you've ruined his life. He's treating you as if you are the only thing blocking him from having the life he wants. What once felt like a dream is now a reoccurring nightmare, and you'd give anything to go back to the starting line and redo your life all over again.

Believe it or not, this is the reality of millions of believing women today. Sadly enough, this will be the reality for many more Christian women to come. That's because the average woman won't wait on GOD to renew her mind before she enters a relationship. GOD wants to make all of HIS daughters whole, but when a woman is refusing to endure the process GOD wants to take her through, she will reject GOD'S offer in favor of looking for an alternative that fits the schedule she's laid out for herself. She then begins to look for a man to make her whole again. When the wrong guy comes along saying the right things, she'll happily join her soul to his in hopes that he'll be as good or better than the one GOD had reserved for her.

Here's the harsh reality. More than 80% of Christian women will never be found by the husbands GOD would have presented them to had they waited on HIS perfect timing and stayed in HIS perfect will. That's because the average believing woman is religious in her thinking, prideful in her heart and suffering from a serious case of self entitlement. The average believing woman thinks some man is going to come along and rescue her from herself, her friends, her family and her financial situation. For this reason, the average Christian woman ends up with the average Christian man, and finds out that the average Christian man is nothing more than a secular man who goes to church...much like herself. And the ones who don't end up with believing men, end up with unbelievers from the secular world's top shelf; meaning, they go after men they feel are worth their falls from grace.

Here's the problem. We've got to come out of the world's mindset and stop trying to do GOD'S job for HIM. Let's face it: Nobody is better at being GOD than YAHWEH, for HE is GOD...alone. HE does not need your help, nor has HE ever needed your help with being GOD. All HE wants us to do is stay in HIS will and trust HIM. That's simple enough; right? Not for the average women because one of the greatest strongmen to ever hit the church's powder room is impatience.

What's the solution? You want to be a part of the 20% of women who are found by their GOD-ordained husbands; after all, if you've learned to love and trust the LORD, you know that HE has chosen the perfect guy for you. So, how can you be “in that number” and be found by Mr. Right instead of Mr. Average? First and foremost, you've got to stop being average to even attract the attention of an above-average man, and to stop being average, you have to submit wholly and totally to GOD. What GOD will do is begin to transform your life by renewing your mind and taking you into new heights of thinking that would intimidate the average man. HE'S not doing this to make you undesirable; HE'S doing this to help your husband to recognize you once he finds you. Nevertheless, the average believing woman won't let GOD finish renewing her mind because this process is not only foreign to her, but it's foreign to most of the women she knows. After being transformed by a renewed mind, she understands that she won't be able to keep the friends she's come to love and depend on. The enemy has successfully convinced her that to think outside the box means she's high-minded, demon-possessed or she's being unreasonable. After all, she's seen quite a few women marry believing men, and they appear to be okay. What she doesn't realize is that many of those women married men GOD didn't choose for them. They married men during their “average” stages because they didn't understand that being average was just a phase. GOD called them to be peculiar, phenomenal women after HIS own heart. The ones who continue in HIS WORD oftentimes find themselves standing above their old mindsets, having put away childish reasoning, and this a great place to be if you're married to a man who's also made this transition. Nevertheless, marrying during the “average” phase usually translates to marrying the wrong man or the right man out of season. For this reason, many believing women find that their average men are still average in their thinking and this presents an unforeseen issue in the home: The couple is now unequally yoked and their perceptions of one another has changed drastically. The husband now thinks his wife is a high-minded nag who needs to be brought down a few notches; whereas, the wife now thinks her husband is a useless thug who needs to be neutered and read his rights. It's not long before the divide in their home completes and the divorce attorneys are brought in.

If you're single, you are in better shape than a woman who's married to the wrong man. If you're single, you have one of the greatest opportunities that any woman can have outside of salvation, and that is: You have the ability to trust GOD to send your GOD-appointed husband to you; whereas, a woman who's married the wrong guy can only strive to trust GOD to change the husband she's chosen for herself. At the same time, you can grow your wisdom, knowledge and understanding by tapping into the WORD of GOD. This increases your stature and allows GOD to position you to be found by your anointed and purpose-filled husband. One of the worst things a woman can do to herself and seek to be found while she's in a low place, because this will only translate to her being given one of the greatest titles she can ever wear (wife) while in an average mindset. If you're single, you have the power to take control of your future and not end up married to your future ex-husband. You have the power to write your story, and if it matches up with the story GOD has written for you, you will live a life that most women could only dream of. If it doesn't match up with GOD'S will, you will find yourself seated amongst average women married to an average man and living an average life. Sin will NEVER lead you to a blessing, and a true man of GOD will never lead you into sin. You can wait for your GOD-appointed husband, but better than that, you can simply step outside of the average mentality and start blossoming into the woman GOD created you to be. Average men aren't really interested in above-average women and that's not a bad thing. By getting into purpose and letting GOD transform you, you are in the same sifting through the many potential men you would have likely seen as contenders for your heart, and you are narrowing down the number to a select few. From there, GOD will lead your husband to you because through your husband's obedience to GOD and unwillingness to be an average man, he, in that same hour, sifted through many potential women whom he would have viewed as contenders for his heart, and he's narrowed down the number to a select few. Once he's ready, GOD will lead him to you, and from there, the two of you can live above-average lives amongst a society that encourages average people to remain average. It's your call. Find yourself in the kitchen, wiping your tears away as your average husband makes a break for the door, or simply wait on GOD to send you the husband who will honor, love and respect you all the days of your (and his) life. What's it gonna be?


  1. Thank you for this. The enemy does make you feel like you're being to much, an extremist. Then I did balance, listened to abit of wordly music etc. In my average state, I attracted & met a "good" wordly guy. By the grace of God that relationship is over. After four years of having being single before meeting him I'm now starting again. But listening to your sermons, I realised that during those four years God was trying to renew my mind. But I was always scared of being weird so I'd try to balance my life, meaning I wouldn't be to wordly or to much in the kingdom, not knowing that this was just stagnating my growth and God didn't save me to be normal, but to be a "perculiar" person.....May God bless your ministry and love from South Africa.

    1. Thanks sis, and sorry for the late response. God was definitely preparing you, so you can smile and know that your God-appointed husband is on his way. God is just dressing up the both of you spiritually so you can come together in the right way naturally. God bless.

  2. "You've sinned your way into a blessing...or so it seems" Whew Powerful words of too many truths!

  3. Dear Tiffany
    I thank God for your life, I thank God for using you so mightily...your sermons brought light to an area of my life. I have been waiting and preparing for four years too. God renewed my mind, increased my faith and builded up my confidence. Lately, I have been bombarded by so many Ishmaels coming to me for a relationship (Thank God because he protected from falling into their trap). After listening to your sermons I have better discernment. May your anointing increased in Jesus Name

    1. Thank you for your kind words and God bless you. :-)