Friday, November 7, 2014

Am I Free to Marry: The Truth About Soul Ties

You've been waiting....and waiting....and waiting some more.  You remember the works you've done.  You've refrained from sex, ended a godless relationship, refrained from entering other godless relationships, bought a few books about single living, attended a few singles' conferences, gotten on a few prayer lines, bought some oil to anoint yourself with, and you've even mentored a few women about waiting.  This has to mean that your GOD-ordained husband is on his way to you; right?  -----------------------------Wrong.
You keep telling yourself that it's just not your season yet, but in the meantime, you will surround yourself with other single women so that you can feel better about your wait.  After all, you've been waiting five years (more or less), so you have something to offer them too; right?  You see a few women who's been waiting a year, and their conversation reveals that they expect their GOD-appointed husbands to find them any day now.  How dare they?  You've been waiting five years (more or less), so you feel like they are trying to get ahead of you in the invisible line you're standing in.  You open your mouth to share what you think is wisdom, but instead, what comes out is the foolishness that's been keeping you from being found.  You're bitter.  You're still tied up to some man in your past, and you don't even recognize that you're in a soul tie.  You feel entitled.  You've somehow convinced yourself that your works have justified you, and because you think this way, you've allowed yourself to become upset with GOD.  Sure, you may not say it out loud, but your frustration with the LORD is very much so present.  You're mad because you've been waiting for a long time, and you're watching other women get married after having waited a few months or a few years.  You reason within your mind that they must be with Ishmaels because GOD wouldn't dare do that to you.  HE would not make you wait five years for Isaac, only to send another woman her Isaac after she's waited two years. 

GOD looks at you, and HE sees the reflections of men.  Your prayers went up to HIM many times, but they went amiss because you've been praying for something that you already have: a husband.  Sure, in the natural, you may appear single, but your soul is very much so tied up to other men.  GOD waits on you to release those men, but you hold on to each one.
  • You haven't release Jason because you're still mad at him.  Unforgiveness has become the third fold in the ungodly tie that you have with him.
  • You haven't release Michael because you have a child with him, and you're still upset that he isn't around to help you raise little Michael.  You reason within your heart that you have a greater place with Michael because of your child, so you battle with every woman who dares call Michael her boyfriend.
  • You haven't released Tyrone because he hit you some years ago.  You still have a scar on your body (and your heart) that reminds you of what Tyrone did to you.
  • You haven't released Daniel because he was just too nice, and you mistreated him.  Now, in your heart of hearts, you want a redo with Daniel, so you ally yourself with some of Daniel's family members and you watch his every move.  You speak death to every relationship that Daniel enters.
  • You haven't release Darryl yet because he still owes you money; plus, you haven't figured out why Darryl left yet, so in your journey for answers, you've carried Darryl with you for many years.
Yet, you say you're waiting on GOD for your husband.  The whole idea of the wait is fun, so you take the wait on as a work and not an act of love towards GOD, nor is it an act of faith.  You've decided to add waiting to long list of self-appointed titles you've given yourself in your attempt to get the stuff and the lifestyle you want GOD to give you.  But nothing seems to be working, so you become more and more bitter towards GOD; after all, you've been working at your wait for a long time.  And to add insult to injury, some "holier-than-thou" sister posts up a picture of her ashy hand, clad with a beautiful diamond engagement ring with the caption "I said yes!"  What?!!  You remember when she first started her wait.  As a matter of fact, you encouraged her, and now she's getting married?  Dude has to be an Ishmael...or at least, you hope he is.

What's happening with you is that you never truly entered "the wait".  Instead, you came into the idea of the wait, but you removed JESUS from the equation when you chose works over faith.  Instead, you put the Old Testament law to work, and that law justifies no man; instead, it condemns.  Under the Old Testament law, you are guilty of fornication, adultery and much more.  But under grace, you would have been forgiven for your sins and made new again.  You trusted in your works, and while you were counting your works like sheep, GOD sat by lovingly waiting on you to wake up and surrender yourself, your pain, your soul ties and all that's wrong with you to HIM.  You're not free to marry because you are still married.  How so?  Fornication doesn't mean that one is guilty of premarital sex; fornication means to marry another human being through the act of sex.  It means to have a godless marriage established with the flesh, and until you have been divorced from all of your previous lovers, you are not free to marry.
1 Corinthians 6:15: Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.

If you've ever had sex with anyone, you've entered a soul tie with that person.  What exactly is a soul tie and are soul ties real?  A soul tie is the coming together or cleaving of two souls.  It means to be knit to one another through blood relations, sex or association.  So yes, soul ties are real and there is biblical evidence to the existence of soul ties.
Soul Ties Amongst Lovers
Genesis 34:3: And his soul clave unto Dinah the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the damsel, and spake kindly unto the damsel.
Soul Ties Amongst Friends
1 Samuel 18:1: And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.
Godly Soul Ties
Genesis 2:24: Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 
Ungodly Soul Ties
1 Corinthians 6:15: Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.

When we join ourselves to men, we become one flesh with them, but when we join ourselves to CHRIST, we become one Spirit with HIM.
1 Corinthians 6:17: But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.

The purpose of a soul tie was to teach us about our spiritual tie to GOD.  Our natural relationships have everything to do with our spiritual relationship (or lack thereof) with GOD.  For example, a wife is to submit to her husband sexually, but if she submits to another man, this act is referred to as adultery.  Similarly, we are to submit to GOD with our bodies, spirit and soul, and if we submit to any other god, our act is known as idolatry; therefore, idolatry is spiritual adultery.  The coming together of a man and woman in sex establishes a soul tie, but this "coming together" must be done after the vows (decree and declaration) are said amongst two or more witnesses.  The coming together of a husband and wife (sexually) should only be done after the couple has committed themselves to GOD (salvation) and dedicated their bodies to GOD (sanctification).  That's why GOD doesn't want us to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, since an unbeliever has not committed himself to GOD, nor has he dedicated himself to purity; therefore, he cannot truly commit to loving a wife the way a man who's in submission to GOD can.

In a Godly marriage, GOD acts as the third fold to the cord that you and your husband are establishing, but get this...the husband must first commit (take a vow to GOD) to loving, protecting and covering his wife for the rest of his life.  This way, should he break his vows to his wife, he will have first broken his vows to GOD, and will therefore, be chastened by the LORD, HIMSELF.  Sex is an act designed to confirm or establish the vows through the shedding of blood, and this establishes a covenant between the man and GOD.  The witnesses are there to remind the husband of his vows, and to establish those vows in the realm of the earth.
2 Corinthians 13:1: This is the third time I am coming to you. In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established.

This means that the husband CANNOT break his vows to GOD because his words are established, and therefore, cannot be cancelled.  In other words, the act of marriage favors the wife since she is the favor of her husband!  Biblical misinterpretations have caused women to believe that if their husbands were to abandon them, they would be linked to him for the rest of their lives, and therefore, could not remarry even if their estranged husbands were to go out and start new families.  Needless to say, this is not true.  When a man breaks his vow to GOD and does not provide for his wife, he becomes worse than an infidel with GOD.
1 Timothy 5:8: But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

What does the word "infidel" mean?  It means "unbeliever".  1 Timothy 5:8 tells us that by not providing for his own home (family), a man not only sins against his wife, but he has denied the faith, or in other words, he has denounced CHRIST.  This means that he cannot legally divorce his wife, except it be because of fornication, but must remain married to her all the days of his life.  He must also love her as he loves himself.  If a man becomes worse than an infidel, GOD continues to favor the wife by permitting her to remarry should that man choose to walk away because that man is not only labeled as an unbeliever, but in the eyes of the LORD, he is worse than an unbeliever.
1 Corinthians 7:15: But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

The marriage union is designed to protect both the husband and wife from demonic influence and perversion, but marriage vows are designed to protect the wife since the husband is called to be the head of the house.  GOD gave the man a greater role in protecting and providing for his wife, and HE gave the wife the role of submitting to her husband.  When this order is established and carried out, the marriage bed remains undefiled and the marriage is impenetrable; meaning, the enemy cannot legally come against it or enter into it.  For this reason, the enemy encourages women to enter marriages without the vows, and of course, these marriages are established through fornication.  This act not only binds the woman in a soul tie (a two fold cord without the presence of GOD), but being the weakest link, it uncovers the woman, exposing her to demonic influence, perversion, oppression and depression, and if she's not saved, demonic possession.  In other words, fornication exposes a woman by uncovering her, and it puts a man at odds with GOD, since he was called to cover her spiritually before uncovering her naturally.  Additionally, the enemy encourages couples to have sex (illegally marry) before decreeing and declaring their vows.  Why does he do this?  When we come together in the will of GOD because of our love for GOD, GOD is in the midst and will become the third fold in our marriages.  When we come together in the flesh, it is often because we have made ourselves, our lovers, or the idea of marriage an idol, and any sex that is had represents our sacrifices to the idols we've unknowingly erected in our lives.  This means that if you enter marriage illegally, you cannot take that idol and rededicate it to GOD.  Instead, your union would be against GOD and not for HIM, and would therefore, have to be repented of and re-established.  So, is it a good idea to enter a sexual relationship with the intentions of eventually meeting your guy at the altar and marrying him?  No.  The minute you engage in sex with him, you become instantly and illegally married to him, and therefore, your marriage took place at a wedding that GOD was not invited to.  Additionally, this wedding took place outside of the will of GOD, and is therefore, a union that GOD cannot and will not be in the midst of.

The evidence that you are still married to someone else is oftentimes seen in your actions and thoughts towards whomever it is that you've lain with.  Additionally, some soul ties can be entered without sex, as witnessed in 1 Samuel 18:1, when Jonathan and David's souls knit to one another.  This knitting oftentimes takes place through associations or spoken vows.  This means that the two of you can make a declaration that GOD is not in the midst of, and end up entering an ungodly soul tie.  These soul ties usually affect us more emotionally than they do physically; whereas, soul ties entered through sex often affect women both physically and emotionally.  Some women become addicted to sex or masturbation because of unsevered soul ties.  Some women repeatedly date men who resemble their ex lovers because they are still soul tied to their exes, and subconsciously, they keep trying to re-enter relationships with their exes through other people.  In other words, they pursue relationships with ex-lover-lookalikes with the sole intention of resolving whatever issues they have with their exes.  
How can you tell if you're still married to someone through a soul tie?  
  1. You can't stop thinking about that person.  The heart is like a DVD player, and whatever's in it will continue to play in our imaginations or show up in our dreams.
  2. You can't stop talking about that person.  Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. 
  3. You're still mad at that ex because of the breakup.  If the sun set on your wrath, you are now in unforgiveness, and oftentimes, unforgiveness becomes one of the very ropes that hold soul ties together...You have to forgive the guy to be free from him.
  4. You want another shot at being with the ex.  Of course, this is the most obvious of them all.
  5. You're mad at the ex's new lover for no apparent reason.  A man has the right to be jealous about his wife, and a wife has a right to be jealous about her husband, but we do not have the right to be jealous about people who are not our spouses.  If you're still jealous, chances are, you're still married.
  6. You keep trying to control or dominate the ex.  When a woman hasn't let go of a man, she will continue to speak with him and treat him as if he were "her man", or, in other words, "her property."  This is especially evident with some women who have children with their ex lovers, and they try to use their children as tools to control their exes.
  7. You still feel strange when the ex comes along.  Let's make one thing clear.  You shouldn't feel anything when you see an ex.  If you heart jumps, your stomach turns or you become nervous, it likely means that you're not free from that ex just yet. 
  8. You won't leave your ex's family and friends alone.  Sure, you knew them first, but this does not give you the right to hang around them.  By doing so, you are attempting to become a crack in any relationship that your ex enters.
  9. You keep checking out your ex's page(s) on social media.  If he's in your heart, he's in your thoughts, and if he's in your thoughts; chances are, he's in your soul.
  10. You're attracted to men who look like or remind you of your ex.
Are you still married?  Only GOD and yourself can answer that question, but if you are, GOD can and will divorce you from those unions if you ask HIM to.  Additionally, your wait for a husband must be initiated only after you've learned to love, fear and reverence the LORD; meaning, your wait transitions from being a wait designed to get you a husband into becoming a wait designed to please the LORD.  If you've been waiting for your GOD-appointed spouse, but your wait wasn't to please GOD, your wait has been fruitless and pointless.  Only what you do for GOD will last.  Your wait must be established on the foundation of your love for GOD and your desire to please HIM.  This means that even if HE were to tell you that HE wasn't going to send you a husband, but would instead, send you out to teach and reach the nations, you'd be willing to remain pure for the rest of your life.  If GOD were to tell you to remain single for the rest of your life, what would you do?  Would you go out and find your own husband, and then attempt to get GOD to accept your choice for yourself?  If so, you haven't yet reached a point in your relationship with GOD where you can be labeled faithful, and therefore, you cannot be found by a man who's faithful enough to find his wife.  You need to be free from the illegal unions that you've entered, and you have to re-establish your relationship with GOD in fear and trembling on the foundation of love.  Your love for GOD and desire to please HIM must supersede your love for yourself and your desire to please yourself.  You have to seek the Kingdom of GOD and all HIS righteousness first and foremost, and it is then and only then that your husband (and everything else) be added to you.  This way, when your GOD-appointed husband finds you, he will find you in CHRIST and dependent upon the LORD only.  HE will find you knowing who you are in CHRIST, and actively living in your purpose.  He will also know who he is in CHRIST and be actively walking in his purpose, and when the two of you come together, you will be an effective help meet.  Your husband is not going to find you soul tied up to another man, broken, unsure of yourself, anxious, scripturally confused, spiritually unidentifiable, fearful, lacking, perverted, jealous-hearted or vain.  In other words, he will NOT find you in your flesh, nor will he find you in unsound doctrine!  It doesn't matter how beautiful you decorate yourself, if you're still married to another man, you can't be found by your GOD-ordained husband.  You can wax your eyebrows, wear thousand dollar wigs, line your eyes to perfection, wear the most fitted of fitted jeans, and go to every single's conference there is, but if every ungodly soul tie you've entered is not broken, you will be some man's estranged, but beautiful wife.  Remember, your works will not and does not justify you.  Women who count their works oftentimes end up becoming religious and bitter, and they often end up with some hardcore, but religious Ishmael who has a scripture in his mouth and a chip on his shoulder.  Again, your works won't justify you; your faith will.  CHRIST has already done the work.  Now, all you have to do is get to know HIM (the WORD) better so you can receive what GOD has already spoken over your life.  The devil will offer you shortcuts, but as promising as they may look, they only lead to death disguised as blessings.

Be free of all ungodly soul ties.
  • Confess your sins to GOD.
  • Repent of your sins.
  • Ask GOD to deliver you from all ungodly soul ties.
  • Commit to remaining pure, and not entering any new and ungodly soul ties.
  • Be careful whose table (ministry-wise) that you eat from.  Believe it or not, sugar-coated doctrine is demonic and it takes you further and further away from GOD until your life and your wait becomes unrecognizable to yourself and others.
  • Don't randomly date men just because they're cute, financially stable or have good communication skills.  Commit to actually waiting on your GOD-ordained spouse; meaning, start being faithful to your husband starting now.
  • Don't trust in your own works.
  • Beware of ministries and ministers who encourage works instead of holiness.  The more of a relationship that you have with GOD, the more you will seek to please HIM.  When you seek and began to walk in holiness, that's when you'll find that you're being pursued by your GOD-appointed spouse.  He won't be attracted to your works; he will be attracted to the GOD in you.
  • Don't give up on GOD.  Understand that HE is just, and if you are having any problems, it's not because HE'S being unfair; it's because you are likely standing somewhere outside of HIS will.
  • Let GOD choose your friends.  Believe it or not, the people you hang around are just as important as the man you marry.
Be free from ungodly soul ties, and seek GOD more than you've ever sought HIM before.  Once you're free to marry, GOD will begin to dress your mind for your wedding.  Everything and everyone that HE removes from you represents the old garment, or better yet, your old mindset.  Everything and everyone that HE adds to your life represents the new garment, or better yet, your renewed mind.  Don't reject new cloths trying to hold on to the rags.  Once GOD has dressed up your mind for the wedding, HE will reveal your hiding place to the man HE has chosen for you, and in finding you, your husband will find favor because you are favored by GOD.


  1. This is soo on point right now! I've been trying to talk to the Lord but tonight, he has spoken to me. I am grateful to the lord for using you as his vessel

  2. I have been listening to your youtube sermons, the conviction I experienced is indescribable. Praise be to God for what he is doing through you.

    1. God bless you sis...thanks. Just let Him continue to shape and use you. :)

  3. Thank you to God for using you to help his daughters. Id like to know how to prevent this to be works. How do I seek God without expecting a pay check of husband? How do I live for Christ without it being like I'm following the ten commandments. My mind already knows that God wants me to seek purity of mind, body, actions and what i behold. I don't want to do this anticipating that God will bless me with a man.

    1. Thanks love. I will definitely answer your questions, but because I'm long-winded, I have to answer via another video. I will definitely keep you posted and let you know once I've recorded and published the video. God bless you.

    2. at 9:19 AM
      Thank you Tiffany for the response and thank you for being the Lords servant, your ministry is blessing me & my sisters here in South Africa. Would it also be possible to expand on "how to be holy" you touched on it abit with the audio "how to pray". Point one on how to pray you mentioned that holiness comes from the inside, through the more time we spend with God and filling ourselves with the word. Please could you expand more on this subject of holiness and rightousness. God bless

  4. I just wanted to say thank you so very much for your videos and articles/messages that are so full of godly wisdom. They have been a tremendous blessing to me and I am so grateful for your ministry.

    I would like to ask, assuming that I have recognised that I am in an ungodly soul tie situation with someone and have decided to break that soul tie (by going through the steps that you have taught) and I am successful in doing so by His grace, what about the other person?

    If I have broken the soul tie on my side, will the other person also “automatically” have his soul tie with me broken (but the other person is a non-believer and does not believe in or care about “breaking any soul ties”)?

    Or, put another way, if I am no longer tormented by the ungodly soul tie because I have broken it on my side, will the other person also enjoy this freedom automatically, or will he still be having feelings of torment on his side?

    Thank you very much in advance for your advice/answer and please keep up the excellent work that you are doing in helping women fulfill their amazing God-given destinies!

    1. First, let me apologize for the late response. Once you break a soul tie, it is broken...meaning, the illegal marriage is over. Nevertheless, it does not sever the feelings from the failed relationship. The soul tie simply makes it harder to get away, but some people go through obsession even when there is no soul tie present. That's because they "believed" that the relationship would work, and therefore, they received the report in their hearts. In such cases, the person will center their life, plans, and choices around their beliefs, so it's harder for them to let go because they now need a renewed mind. Prayerfully, he won't be tormented and he is able to get the deliverance he needs, but the answer is yes, the soul tie will be broken for him, but no, it doesn't mean he'll let go.

  5. I needed this in oh so many ways than one.

  6. Iam reading this and it all makes sense to me! I was raised in church my heart belongs to god... I happened to meet someone that didnt understand my point of view of GoD we dated for almost 3 years and didnt really talk about it much but when i did hell just think Iam crazy... well I found myself doing lots of things I shouldnt have been doing drinking drugs three somes what not with him I knew deep down the were wrong but I got mixed in... the girl we had something with lied and told him things I never done she wanted him obviously.. but anywas he chose her story I was hurt and down he called me names told me I would never find any one like him.. I remember when we were together I had bad dreams of someone breathing on me and humping me and holding me down.. I remember even though everything was good between me and him id have anxiety at work i would think of death etc I went to the hospital alomst 2 times a month from chest pains that would come out like there was nothing wrong with me, he would call me crazy.. ever since me and him broke up 2 days later i felt like i had a future didnt think of death my chest pains went away.... I believe GOD!! removed him out of my life because he KNEW my soul belong to him!! I LOVE HIM IFEEL AMAIZING

  7. Am pascalyn am so bless by this post .I got all the answers for my predicaments .I know I have found my deliverance here .God richly bless sis tiffany

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