Thursday, October 16, 2014

Stop Pursuing a Husband

Wait...wait...wait! Single women around the world are reminding one another to wait on GOD for their husbands, and this is a good message. Nevertheless, there's something wrong with the whole "wait" message; something that's rarely talked about, and that is: Many women are encouraged to wait, but they aren't told to live. Because of this, many single damsels spend each and everyday of their lives passively pursuing their husbands. Sure, many echo Proverbs 18:22 (Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD), and they are careful that they don't physically pursue husbands; nonetheless, they still pursue their husbands (or the idea of marriage) mentally, religiously or cyberly.

The Mental Pursuit 
Many single Christian women are absolutely obsessed with marriage, to the point where marriage has become an idol for them. They spend each and every day of their lives looking for materials to encourage their waits and hold them over while they wait. In truth, their lives have become nothing more than waiting rooms, and singles' conferences, books and other materials are the distractions they use to entertain themselves while they wait for their numbers to be called.

The Religious Pursuit
Truth be told, if you go into a singles' conference where one thousand women are seated comfortably, you'll likely find that more than nine hundred of those women were religiously pursuing their husbands.  They've read the books, attended the conferences and even purchased a few t-shirts, but their husbands are still yet to be found.  They've read the Bible, spoke religious declarations over themselves (and their wombs), and they've picked out their wedding gowns...still nothing.  After all of the works they've done, why is it their their husbands can't seem to find them?

The Cyber Pursuit
She sits at her computer and posts up the latest news about her wait, and after responding to the comments on her Facebook post, she notices that someone has liked her post, and that someone happens to be a handsome man.  This isn't the first time he's liked one of her posts, and she's beginning to think that maybe there is some sort of connection.  Maybe he's her GOD-appointed husband.  After all, he's always posting scriptures and encouraging messages on his page; plus, he's not so bad on the eyes, but a few sit-ups wouldn't hurt him.  She begins to reason with herself...Maybe...Just maybe, he's Mr. Right.  After obsessively going through his photo album, she happens upon a picture of him and his lovely wife....She's struck out again.  And how dare he like her posts when he's a married man?  How dare he not list his marital status on his Facebook profile?  Off she goes again to post up the latest news about her wait, and the cycle continues.  Another man will catch her eye, and she'll be trying him on mentally to see if he's a good husband-fit.

Truthfully, many women are pursuing the idea of marriage, but few will own up to it.  That's because any ware being taught to wait, but few are being taught to live.
Just who are you?  If you identify yourself by the name your parents gave you or the skin you're in, then you don't know yourself.  All you know is what you see, what you've witnessed and what you've heard, but you haven't truly located your purpose.  Your purpose in life is your identity; it is the name badge that GOD has given you to wear.  Whenever you take on the "I'm waiting" mentality, you'll disregard who you are because you'll be waiting around for who you want to be.  The point is: You're not here to wait; you're here to live.

Think about it this way: What if someone you knew was to tell you that they'd pick you up soon and take you to the zoo with them?  Would you go outside and wait for them day after day until they finally arrived?  No, you'd keep living.  You'd go to work, come home, cook, clean and do whatever needed to be done in each day.  You wouldn't be idle; after all, that someone didn't give you a specific date or time: He or she simply said they'd pick you up soon.
The same things goes for your husband.  If GOD said HE would send you a spouse, but HE hasn't given you a specific date and time, why would you spend each and everyday of your life waiting for your spouse when you could have been living your life to the fullest?  You could have been:
  • Getting closer to GOD.
  • Starting or expanding the ministry GOD has given you.
  • Writing a book.
  • Starting a business.
  • Visiting someone in prison.
  • Helping the homeless.
  • Visiting some nursing homes.
And, of course, the list goes on and on.  In other words, you could have been bettering your life or someone else's life, instead of sitting around and getting a little too excited about every man who's flirted with you.  When you get busy in purpose (your identity), you won't be so obsessed with the idea of marriage; instead, you'll be obsessed with the idea of pleasing GOD.

GOD told us to seek ye first the Kingdom of GOD and all HIS righteousness, and everything else will be added (given) to us.  The keyword here is first.  In other words, GOD wants us to seek the knowledge of who HE is.  HE wants us to pursue a deeper relationship with HIM.  One can only imagine how disappointed HE must be when HE sees HIS daughters obsessing over natural marriages when they are neglecting their spiritual marriages to HIM.  One can only imagine how disappointed HE must be when HE sees HIS daughters buying countless books to aid them in being found by their husbands (or somebody's son), but they aren't buying books to teach them about what it means to be holy.  Romans 1:25 has truly come to pass.  "Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen."

GOD loves you, and you already know this.  But did you know that HE is jealous over you?  Did you know that HE looks at your heart, and HE can see just where HE'S positioned?  Sure, you may tell HIM that HE'S the head of your life, but HE can see that HE'S seated (in your heart) behind what you want, the idea of marriage, and the cares of the world.  HE knows if you are pursuing a deeper relationship with HIM, or if you're pursuing a husband.  That's why it would be wise for you to confess your sins to HIM, and ask HIM to deliver you from idolatry.

Stop pursuing men and marriages, and start pursuing wisdom (the knowledge of GOD).  You have a price on your hand that only your GOD-appointed husband can afford.  Mr. GOD-ordained has been fire tested and GOD-approved for your life, but if you aren't patient, you'll end up with an impatient, demon-filled man who'll happily take you to the marriage altar when he, himself needs to be at the altar for some serious deliverance.  Don't find out the hard way that a woman who finds a man doesn't find a husband; she finds a man who is nothing more than a bridge for demons to cross over from his soul to hers.


  1. Another deep and powerful message..keeping me FOCUSED my relationship with God..and living out my purpose. May God continue to BLESS u wit creative wisdom..insight..truths of his WORD! :-)